Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Time has Cum
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about anal sex. In fact, I spent a good portion of my therapy session today discussing that very topic. I’ve been having dreams about it and I can’t seem to get the whole idea out of my head. Mostly I think this is happening to me because at 28 I’m still a virgin – at least an anal virgin. For the longest time I was really proud of this fact, but as I get increasingly older, I become less proud and more anxious about it.
Why am I a virgin at 28, you ask?
Well it’s a ridiculous story. One that I would love to share, so here we go! The first time I ever hooked up with another man was when I was 20 years old. He told me every day that he was “straight” and while our hook-ups became gradually more intense, kissing on the mouth was practically forbidden. In any case, the 2 or 3 years that I spent with him didn’t allow for any cherry popping. When I met my boyfriend Paul, he wanted to have sex right away. But I wanted it to be meaningful and special and I wanted to wait until we were in love with each other. Fast forward a couple of years and we’re in love, but not having any sex at all! Not even the quickie blow job. Then the tension surrounding the act of “doing it” became almost too much to bear, so we haven’t really discussed it in a long time. I’ve been with Paul for over 5 years and we’ve never even come close to sticking a dick into each other’s butthole. But I digress…
Now that I’m broaching the inevitable 30 years old mark, I find a desperate need to explore my sexual identity. I want to have lots of sex and I want to learn how to identify with the pleasures of any and all sexual experiences. I struggle a bit with religious restrictions, but mostly with my own fear of becoming vulnerable. It is so easy for me to give a guy a blow job, but I would have to really like him in order to allow his mouth on my dick. In fact, of the 12 or so guys that I’ve blown over the years, I’ve only let about 3 of them even come close to touching my dick. It’s just how I roll.
However, through therapy, I’m learning how to open my mind to the pleasures of the human body. I’m excited to step out of my box and to turn into a raging slut, albeit a slut that practices safe sex. I want a man to pick me up in his arms and shove his cock deep inside of me. I want to learn how to ride a dick up and down and all around. It’s exciting for me to think about any scenario where my legs are over my head and I’m being fucked like mad. Why has it taken me so long to care about this aspect of my personality?
I’m pretty conservative when it comes to trying new things, but as I get older and more confident in myself, I’m starting to take advantage of the propositions I receive and the opportunities that come my way. The last thing that I want right now is to be restricted any more than I already am. There are obvious reasons why I’ve stayed in my relationship this long, but it’s actually more important to me to grow and learn about myself while I’m still young and good looking. I’m not going to be that hot kid at the bar forever. And I’m certainly getting nowhere being a frigid bitch. It’s time to open my hole and let a few guys take a nose dive. Literally.
The first time I have intercourse will have to be special and important. Once that is all said and done, I’m totally about having multiple partners the way that most people do! It’s time that I get some experience under my belt and it’s time that I have my first real orgasm with a guy. Its one thing for them to cum on my back, it’s another for me to cum at all.
At least my next challenge is something having to do with sex. I mean, if I was sitting here complaining about learning crochet, that would be one thing. But I’m sitting here talking about having multiple, amazing orgasms. This is one challenge I can deal with!
Time to go jerk off in the bathroom now. I got myself all sorts of worked up! I’ll probably stick a finger in my ass for good measure.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about anal sex. In fact, I spent a good portion of my therapy session today discussing that very topic. I’ve been having dreams about it and I can’t seem to get the whole idea out of my head. Mostly I think this is happening to me because at 28 I’m still a virgin – at least an anal virgin. For the longest time I was really proud of this fact, but as I get increasingly older, I become less proud and more anxious about it.
Why am I a virgin at 28, you ask?
Well it’s a ridiculous story. One that I would love to share, so here we go! The first time I ever hooked up with another man was when I was 20 years old. He told me every day that he was “straight” and while our hook-ups became gradually more intense, kissing on the mouth was practically forbidden. In any case, the 2 or 3 years that I spent with him didn’t allow for any cherry popping. When I met my boyfriend Paul, he wanted to have sex right away. But I wanted it to be meaningful and special and I wanted to wait until we were in love with each other. Fast forward a couple of years and we’re in love, but not having any sex at all! Not even the quickie blow job. Then the tension surrounding the act of “doing it” became almost too much to bear, so we haven’t really discussed it in a long time. I’ve been with Paul for over 5 years and we’ve never even come close to sticking a dick into each other’s butthole. But I digress…
Now that I’m broaching the inevitable 30 years old mark, I find a desperate need to explore my sexual identity. I want to have lots of sex and I want to learn how to identify with the pleasures of any and all sexual experiences. I struggle a bit with religious restrictions, but mostly with my own fear of becoming vulnerable. It is so easy for me to give a guy a blow job, but I would have to really like him in order to allow his mouth on my dick. In fact, of the 12 or so guys that I’ve blown over the years, I’ve only let about 3 of them even come close to touching my dick. It’s just how I roll.
However, through therapy, I’m learning how to open my mind to the pleasures of the human body. I’m excited to step out of my box and to turn into a raging slut, albeit a slut that practices safe sex. I want a man to pick me up in his arms and shove his cock deep inside of me. I want to learn how to ride a dick up and down and all around. It’s exciting for me to think about any scenario where my legs are over my head and I’m being fucked like mad. Why has it taken me so long to care about this aspect of my personality?
I’m pretty conservative when it comes to trying new things, but as I get older and more confident in myself, I’m starting to take advantage of the propositions I receive and the opportunities that come my way. The last thing that I want right now is to be restricted any more than I already am. There are obvious reasons why I’ve stayed in my relationship this long, but it’s actually more important to me to grow and learn about myself while I’m still young and good looking. I’m not going to be that hot kid at the bar forever. And I’m certainly getting nowhere being a frigid bitch. It’s time to open my hole and let a few guys take a nose dive. Literally.
The first time I have intercourse will have to be special and important. Once that is all said and done, I’m totally about having multiple partners the way that most people do! It’s time that I get some experience under my belt and it’s time that I have my first real orgasm with a guy. Its one thing for them to cum on my back, it’s another for me to cum at all.
At least my next challenge is something having to do with sex. I mean, if I was sitting here complaining about learning crochet, that would be one thing. But I’m sitting here talking about having multiple, amazing orgasms. This is one challenge I can deal with!
Time to go jerk off in the bathroom now. I got myself all sorts of worked up! I’ll probably stick a finger in my ass for good measure.
